I Spent 100 Days in Realistic Minecraft

Transcription

This is real life. This is Minecraft. And this is Minecraft with real life graphics. Dude, this graphics pack is insane. A real life day is 24 hours. A Minecraft day is 20 minutes. I'm going to do some quick maths. They are not the same amount of time. 100 Minecraft days is equal to 33 hours in real life. And that's how long I'm spending in real life Minecraft VR. A few minutes in, I was already so mystified by my own shadow. It felt like I was really there. That's not a good look. The first several days were boring. I collected resources, found these blue rocks, blah, blah, blah. But things got crazy when I got a vision for my base. A place like none other base. A place where no mobs could ever get me. A place that I'm calling The Platform. So yeah, the rest of day five I kind of just got started on that. On day seven, I had my first visitors. Good to meet ya! What's your name? Huh? I said what's your name? Huh? I worked day and night on this vision of what I'm calling the platform. And before long, it was complete. All right, Dr. Phil fan club, it's time to show you what I've been building for the past nine days. The platform! The platform. It's a platform, I'm calling it the platform. Uh, pretty safe from mobs. It looks cool at night, all right? Look, I like it and that's all that matters. It was time to go on a journey. I need to find a village. And on the night of day 14, that's exactly what we did. Howdy. I came to this village for one reason: business. I was checking to see what trades were available and one of the farmers and I just hit it off. I'm following you around for the day, okay? Hey, what's your name? I didn't get your name. Joseph? Your name is Joseph? Now I'm going to be honest, I have no idea what his name is. If you put what he said into Google Translate, nothing happens. I need a friend so I'm naming him Joseph and that's really none of your business. And on day 17, our friendship deepened. Joseph, can we talk in private? What do you have to say? Not sure if you heard what I heard in Joseph's tone, but I've been playing this game for six hours and my need for some sort of human connection led me to make up a fake narrative. And this is it. I hate farming. I hate my dad. I want to leave this village and see the world. Maybe even go to a Taylor Swift concert. But most of all, I want to slay the Ender Dragon. So yeah, that's what we're rolling with. The game plan is simple. The first thing I'm doing is destroying Joseph's dad's crops, effectively making Joseph the best farmer in town. Joseph, I don't know if you're asleep right now. I literally can't t- Your eyes are wide open, Joseph. Oh my gosh! Goodness. Okay, you're awake. I'll come back for you and we'll beat that dragon, okay? I have never beat that dragon, but we're going to do it. Dragon deez nuts on your chin. Joseph! With Joseph's dad so occupied on replanting his crops, we're going to bust Joseph out of the village, take him to the end, defeat the Ender Dragon, all without dying for the next 80 days. But on day 20, we hit our first big roadblock. Oh no, my hunger bar is low. I spent the next several days doing more boring stuff, but it was all to prepare for Joseph's escape, so it matters. So here's the updated platform. Yeah, whatever. Okay. I need to get back to Joseph. And on my way to Joseph, I wanted to see if moving my arms in real life made me run faster. It didn't. Joseph, has anyone seen Joseph? That's when I ran into Joseph's dad. Hey, I don't mean to bother you. I see you're replanting your crops. Where's your son? Joseph was exactly where he was designed to be, on top of the hill tending to his crops. Crops are looking nice. Crops are looking good. How you been? That might just be the saddest thing I've ever heard. Joseph essentially said, Ryan, get me out of this stink hole. I haven't taken this hat off ever, like I was born with it on my head. I do not have free will. Help me. At this point, I've been in this VR world for 10 hours straight and I need to go to bed myself. I need to sleep for real, like IRL. So far, it's been 30 days. We're level 28. We haven't died yet. We need to get Joseph to the end. This is the most strong emotional connection I've I've made ever. Don't tell my wife. I spent my first night stargazing. It was actually kind of beautiful. Wake up, Joseph! In my world, six hours had passed since I'd last seen Joseph. In his, three weeks. And no, that time didn't count towards my 100 days, so I've got a lot of work to do. I left the village before Joseph could notice. I decided that before I could get Joseph to escape, I needed to get him a name tag. Name tags allow you to name NPCs in Minecraft. One of the only ways to get name tags is through fishing. The only catch, no pun intended. They're extremely rare, so I needed to make an enchanted fishing pole. Certain enchantments increase the odds of you getting rare items like name tags. So I started slaughtering cows for the enchantment table. I promise it's necessary. On the night of day 34, I almost died. And on day 36, we finally had our enchantment table. Oh, Ryan, you're really going to enchant a fishing pole on your first enchantment? Yes. And our first fishing pole was really bad. It was probably the worst you could get. You see, we're looking for the enchanted Luck of the Sea, which allows us to get the name tag faster. Then we enchanted again. And we got it. That thing's heavy. I combined our two enchanted fishing poles and gave it a name that the world would remember. #FreeJoseph. So on day 39, I started fishing with #FreeJoseph. And before long, days turned into weeks. Well, like hours. Days. I don't know anymore. On the night of day 49, I was doing some fishing, thinking about how I would get Joseph out of that village when something crazy happened. Don't mess with my boat. Oh my gosh! Now, I'm pretty bad at Minecraft, but even I know that zombies and villagers go into boats and you can move them that way. But I just forgot. And now I had confirmation that I could really get Joseph out of there. Thank you so much. You are so sweet. On day 51, I luckily caught a really good bow, like really good. And finally, after 14 days of fishing, Nametag! Oh my gosh. There's nothing in this world that is more precious to us than our names. I'm on my way, Joseph. I'm on my way. Joseph. Joseph, I have a surprise for you. Ready? Three, two, one. Seeing Joseph's name hover above his straw hat gave me goosebumps. Those piercing green eyes looking into mine. I don't know, it's like he was really in the room with me. And there was just this understanding that we would never leave each other's side. Oh, he's leaving. What the heck? When I got to the village, I saw a disproportionate amount of farmers making out with each other. It was in this moment that I realized the perfect plan to help Joseph escape. I would need a distraction. In a village full of testosterone-charged farmers, there was only one thing that could get their attention. A 200-foot tall farmersonly.com billboard that casted a shadow so wide the entire town would be hypnotized by it. It took me nearly 10 days to chop all the wood for this thing. I'm talking absolute deforestation. But the final product was so worth it. I don't know who did it either. But that's like a major distraction. Isn't it just insane? And it seemed to be working perfectly. Every farmer in town had their lips on another farmer. Next, I built a water passage all the way from the platform to the village, allowing me to transfer Joseph via boat, just like that zombie from earlier. My final step would be waiting for nightfall and then setting the entire village on fire. As I was preparing though, the entire village seemed super suspicious of me. Hey, how's it going? Ah, just my hand here. Yeah. I'll see you later. I'm not going to lie, all together, this process took about seven hours of my life. But it's for a worthy cause. And if this works out, this might be my greatest accomplishment ever. And now all we had to do was wait for nighttime. Joseph, tonight's the night. Okay? Tonight's the night we bust you out of here. You're going to live your dreams, and I'm going to burn this place to the ground. Oh, that's not Jo- Oh my gosh, that's not Joseph. All right. Joseph? Yes, that's Joseph. Okay. I caught him up to speed on the plan. Not only were the iron golems trapped, but the boat was ready to go right outside his house. We just needed the village to stay calm for a little bit longer. One word, #FreeJoseph. All right, I'm going to burn this place down. I began lighting the entire village on fire. Oh yeah, the entire village was up in flames. I didn't have much time though because nighttime was only 10 minutes. Joseph, we're leaving! Come on, Joseph! Let's go, Joseph! I'm not going to lie, I had been in this headset for 25 hours and watching this village burn to the ground felt a little too real to me. Joseph, look at the stars, my guy. Look how they shine for you. I'm just kidding, man. I'm just kidding. You know Coldplay? Yeah. Goofball. And just like that, Joseph was free and we made it back to the platform. I got him out of the boat and the first thing he did was run to the crops. Hey! Hey! Joseph! He went straight to the crops. Joseph! Oh my go- Joseph! Joseph! I was so confused at the time, but Joseph's hat literally popped off. I mean, he was no longer an NPC farmer. He was Joseph. I haven't had a roommate in a while, so I just put up a bunk bed, told him I would be top bunk, he'll be bottom bunk, and that was that. I'll be right back. I'm just going to this place called the Nether. So Joseph wouldn't be worried about me, I told him the Nether was short for Netherlands, one of the safest countries in the world. However, the place I was going was very, very different. The Nether is one of the most dangerous places in Minecraft. However, you have to go in order to get to the end. When you land in the Netherlands, you're greeted by fields of tulips and soccer balls. When you land in the Nether, you're greeted by death. And as I was running away from death, I ended up seeing a Nether Fortress. Yay! I need to kill these things to get blaze rods, which will allow me to make eyes of ender, which allows me to find the end portal, which will allow me to make Joseph happy. Anything for Joseph. I spent day 75 collecting blaze rods and then trading with zombie pigmen for ender pearls. Ooh! Oh! Three ender pearl?! Did I just meet Elon Tusk? And the last thing we needed was nether wart for potions and probably other things. Yes, I am taking this seriously. Hey Siri, play "how to slay ender dragon on Minecraft on YouTube." Ryan, don't forget to apply your ointment tonight at 9 p.m. Look, I've watched enough YouTube videos to know what I'm doing. I did some more boring stuff and then- Joseph! Gosh, sorry, that was a little too hard. I started enchanting my weapons and got some really good stuff. And just like our fishing pole, #FreeJoseph, I enchanted all of my diamond armor. It wasn't perfect, but it would do. I made the best bow possible. I made potions. And on day 82, my inventory was ready. But I was not. So, I told Joseph I needed to have an epic training montage. And he said, What does "epic" mean? I hate my dad. Epic. I set up an arena that would emulate the end. And if I could knock off the TNT on top of these dirt towers, I would be fully ready to defeat that dragon. That's way off. First try. First try. At first, my accuracy was atrocious. I partially blame that on our sponsor, Roborock. That's right. I've been snacking on this white floor for nearly 30 hours and... one sec. Yep, still missed. This floor is absolutely trashed. I'm talking pretzels, nacho chips, remnants of sandwiches that I can't even remember eating. The Roborock S7's new all-rubber brush laughs in the face of such things. This is the one, I can feel it. It has an intelligent mop that knows the difference between hard floor and carpet, meaning it lifts that wet mop up when it absolutely ascends up mountainous terrain like carpets or yoga mats. Is this an off-road vehicle? Maybe. No, legally it's not. Speaking of maybe. It's been a full day of shooting arrows and I still haven't hit this TNT block. The Roborock also has precision mapping, which means it's basically smarter than Joseph and I combined. You can also set no-go zones. This bad boy docks itself, empties itself, and charges itself. I can't even take care of myself that well. Check out the link in the description to snag a Roborock. Possibly the best gift in the entire world. Except for a name tag. Facts, Joseph. Straight facts. On that note, It took me nearly two days to hit that first TNT block. And it was almost at point-blank range. I'm screwed. To get to the end portal, which takes you to the Ender Dragon, I have to throw these eyes of ender I made. When you throw them, it points you in the direction of the portal. I figured I would go find it first and then take Joseph there. On the start of day 86, I started getting really close to this place. And then I found it. I had to dig underwater, which was scary because I can't swim. This place was pretty horrifying, and it took me a really long time to find this place and almost died a few times as well. But we finally found it. Oh my gosh, I've never gotten this far before. How are we going to get Joseph in here? I had an idea. If I could somehow dig a tunnel up to the ocean, I could successfully push Joseph inside of it directly into the end portal. It took three days to do, but it was foolproof. What I don't know what that means exactly, but now I just have to activate the portal and get Joseph. Holy smokes. It was day 92 at this point, and I couldn't believe I hadn't died yet. All I had to do is build another river going from the platform to the end. And then there was no more running from it. It's time. Say goodbye to the platform, Joseph. You're probably not going to make it. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. I don't even know if I'm going to make it. It was a beautiful metaphor passing through Joseph's village. We even took a second to appreciate his old house. Then the river led us to the ocean. As we approached the end portal hole, it seemed like Joseph was having second thoughts. I think he said something like, Dang, I was hoping we would do the Taylor Swift concert before this. My dad would be proud of me. At least I think that's what he said. It's time, Joseph. Get out of the boat! Go! Jump! Joseph, what are you doing? Go! Ryan, if I die, tell my dad I love him. Maintain my crops and tell Taylor Swift I am an epic stan. See you on the other si- Oh, I actually misclicked. I did not mean to hit Joseph so soon. This was the craziest visual I have ever seen in my life. And on the 98th day, we're going to slay a dragon. I'm coming, Joseph! Oh, well, this is nice. Joseph, this is what we've been training for. Seconds after mining out of this hole, the dragon had already spotted us. It wasn't looking good. Watch out, Joseph! Watch out, watch out, watch out! No, Joseph! Joseph! Joseph died instantly. Now I have nothing to lose. I got to slay this thing for Joseph. The end is a dangerous place. It's actually more dangerous than the Nether. There's a big dragon and if you beat him, you beat the game. There's also a bunch of Endermen, one of the strongest mobs in this video game that we call Minecraft. And there's a ton of, quote unquote, healers that I have to destroy or the dragon will just heal itself forever. The first thing I did was build a little wooden house, a house that the Endermen are too tall to access. I'm 5'8" in real life, so I'm familiar with this tactic. Then I started destroying the healers one by one. I don't think I was doing it right, but eventually I was able to get some hits off on the dragon. I threw my ender pearls and almost died in the process, but before long, I had destroyed all the healers and it was time to just start attacking the dragon. Yep. Oh! Got it. I'm on fire. Things got really scary when I took a dragon ball to the dome. Gosh, that's not good. That's not good. I was able to build up to a tower to escape, and that's when I just started absolutely drilling this thing. This could be the last one. Oh my gosh. Joseph! This one's for you!