Hi, I'm Tom. And I'm Matt. And today we're trying to break as many laws as possible. Now, there are two rules. Number one, the laws have to actually be in force. None of this ridiculous shooting a Welshman with a crossbow in the bounds of York nonsense. And rule two, they have to be silly. I see you driving 'round town with the girl I love and I'm like... Hey! 192, 193, 194... Tom, this is a pretty reasonable law. I don't want my house blown up by a cannon. Legal. Legal. Legal. Illegal. Illegal. Illegal. For this to count, the salmon needs to be used in the commission of a crime. Ah! What the... What's that? Assault and battery. What do we do now? Handle it. That's not nice.
A title card appears on a black screen.
Setting: N/A — N/A
Text: "#1: Carrying a plank along a pavement.", "Illegal under the Metropolitan Police Act 1839, §54 Maximum penalty: £500"
A young man peeks his head over a large wooden plank he is carrying, speaking to a camera mounted on the plank.
"Hi, I'm Tom."
Setting: London street sidewalk — overcast daylight
People (1):
• peeking over a plank, wearing grey hoodie over a black jacket and not visible, short, light brown, messy from wind hair — animated, speaking, wide-eyed
A second young man peeks his head over the wooden plank, smiling and speaking to the camera.
"And I'm Matt. And today we're trying to break as many laws as possible."
Setting: London street sidewalk — overcast daylight
People (1):
• peeking over a plank, wearing purple hoodie and not visible, short, dark, curly hair — smiling, speaking
The first man, Tom, peeks back over the plank to explain the rules of their challenge.
"Now, there are two rules. Number one, the laws have to actually be in force."
Setting: London street sidewalk — overcast daylight
People (1):
• peeking over a plank, wearing grey hoodie over a black jacket and not visible, short, light brown, messy from wind hair — serious, speaking directly to camera
Text: "For our references, see tomscott.com/law"
Tom continues his explanation, gesturing slightly with his head for emphasis.
"None of this ridiculous shooting a Welshman with a crossbow in the bounds of York nonsense."
Setting: London street sidewalk — overcast daylight
People (1):
• peeking over a plank, wearing grey hoodie and not visible, light brown, messy hair — speaking with emphasis, slight frown
Text: "For our references, see tomscott.com/law"
The second man, Matt, pops up again, smiling and holding up a two-fingered peace sign.
"And rule two, they have to be silly."
Setting: London street sidewalk — overcast daylight
People (1):
• peeking over a plank, wearing purple hoodie and not visible, short, dark, curly hair — smiling, speaking
A title card appears on a black screen.
Setting: N/A — N/A
Text: "#2: Singing profane songs in the street.", "Illegal under the Town Police Clauses Act 1847, §28 Maximum penalty: £1,000 or 14 days in jail"
Tom and Matt walk down a sidewalk, holding the camera in a selfie-style, singing loudly and gesturing with their arms.
"I see you driving 'round town with the girl I love and I'm like..."
Setting: London residential street — bright, overcast daylight
People (2):
• walking and singing, wearing grey hoodie and not visible, light brown hair — singing loudly, mouth open
• walking and singing, wearing purple hoodie with orange logo and not visible, dark, curly hair — singing loudly, mouth open, pointing finger up
A title card appears on a black screen.
Setting: N/A — N/A
Text: "#3: Sliding on ice or snow.", "Illegal under the Metropolitan Police Act 1839, §54 Maximum penalty: £500"
A man slides on his back in the snow towards the camera.
Setting: snowy field or park — flat, bright daylight
People (1):
• lying on back, sliding feet-first, wearing dark hooded jacket and blue jeans, light brown hair — smiling, looking at camera
Text: "(Filmed two weeks earlier, when we had snow.)"
A person wearing black boots walks through deep snow, kicking it up towards the camera.
Setting: snowy field or park — flat, bright daylight
People (1):
• walking/sliding, wearing dark jacket and blue jeans, not visible hair — not visible
Text: "(Filmed two weeks earlier, when we had snow.)"
A title card appears on a black screen.
Setting: N/A — N/A
Text: "#4: Being drunk in a pub.", "Illegal under the Licensing Act 1872, §12 Maximum penalty: £200"
Matt sits on a leather couch in a pub, laughs boisterously, and raises a glass of beer in a toast.
"Hey!"
Setting: pub or bar — warm, soft indoor lighting
People (1):
• sitting, leaning back, wearing black t-shirt with a pink and white pixelated graphic and not visible, dark, curly, messy hair — laughing heartily, mouth open, eyes crinkled
A title card appears on a black screen.
Setting: N/A — N/A
Text: "#5: Defacing money.", "Illegal under the Currency and Banknote Acts 1928, §12 Maximum penalty: £200"
A person uses a black marker to draw a mustache and goatee on the portrait of Queen Elizabeth II on a British ten-pound note.
Setting: indoors — direct, bright indoor light
People (1):
• drawing, not visible hair — not visible
A title card appears on a black screen.
Setting: N/A — N/A
Text: "#6: Flying a kite in a public place.", "Illegal under the Metropolitan Police Act 1839, §54 Maximum penalty: £200"
A man stands in a large grassy field preparing to launch a purple kite.
Setting: a public park or field — overcast daylight
People (1):
• standing, preparing to fly kite, wearing purple hoodie and blue jeans, dark hair — not visible
The man successfully launches the kite, which flies up into the cloudy sky.
Setting: a public park or field — daylight
People (1):
• standing, leaning back slightly, wearing purple hoodie and blue jeans, dark, curly hair — in profile, looking up at kite
A title card appears on a black screen.
Setting: N/A — N/A
Text: "#7: Firing a cannon within 300 yards of a house.", "Illegal under the Metropolitan Police Act 1839, §55 Maximum penalty: £200"
Matt walks backwards across a large lawn in a park, counting his paces.
"192, 193, 194..."
Setting: a London park — bright daylight
People (1):
• walking backwards, counting, wearing purple hoodie and blue jeans, dark, curly hair — concentrating, looking over his shoulder
Matt stops walking, turns to the camera, and speaks with a pleading expression, gesturing with his hands.
"Tom, this is a pretty reasonable law. I don't want my house blown up by a cannon."
Setting: a London park — bright daylight
People (1):
• standing, facing camera, wearing purple hoodie and blue jeans, dark, curly hair — speaking earnestly, slight frown
The camera pans up a grassy hill to reveal a small, toy-sized cannon sitting at the top.
Setting: a London park (Primrose Hill) — overcast daylight
A title card appears on a black screen.
Setting: N/A — N/A
Text: "#8: Playing knock-down-ginger.", "(US viewers: "ding-dong ditch") Illegal under the Town Police Clauses Act 1847, §28 Maximum penalty: £1,000 or 14 days in jail"
A shaky, first-person camera runs up to a door at night, knocks loudly, and then runs away.
Setting: residential street at night — very dark, ambient street light
The camera, now hiding across the street, looks up at an illuminated window where a silhouette appears.
Setting: residential street at night — dark, with light coming from the window
People (1):
• standing in window, silhouette hair — silhouette
A title card appears on a black screen.
Setting: N/A — N/A
Text: "#9: Shake a doormat in the street after 8am.", "Illegal under the Town Police Clauses Act 1847, §28 Maximum penalty: £1,000 or 14 days in jail"
Matt vigorously shakes a doormat in a dark alleyway. A digital timer on screen counts up to 8:00:00.
"Legal. Legal. Legal."
Setting: alleyway — dim, pre-dawn light
People (1):
• standing, shaking a mat, wearing dark hoodie and not visible, dark, curly hair — focused, looking down
Text: "07:59:59"
The timer ticks over to 8:00:01. Matt throws his head back and yells triumphantly while continuing to shake the doormat.
"Illegal. Illegal. Illegal."
Setting: alleyway — dim, pre-dawn light
People (1):
• standing, shaking a mat, wearing dark hoodie and not visible, dark, curly hair — yelling, mouth open, triumphant expression
Text: "08:00:01"
A title card appears on a black screen.
Setting: N/A — N/A
Text: "#10: Handling salmon in suspicious circumstances.", "Illegal under the Salmon Act 1986, §32 Maximum penalty: unlimited fine or two years in jail"
Tom and Matt stand indoors. Tom explains the law while Matt holds a package of salmon.
"For this to count, the salmon needs to be used in the commission of a crime."
Setting: indoors, a room — soft indoor lighting
People (2):
• standing, wearing grey hoodie and not visible, light brown hair — speaking, looking at camera
• standing, wearing purple hoodie and not visible, dark, curly hair — smiling, looking at Tom
Matt suddenly slaps Tom across the face with the package of salmon. Tom recoils dramatically, yelling in mock pain.
"Ah!"
Setting: indoors, a room — soft indoor lighting
People (2):
• recoiling from a slap, wearing grey hoodie and not visible, light brown hair — eyes closed, wincing in mock pain
• mid-slap, wearing purple hoodie and not visible, dark, curly hair — laughing
Tom grabs the salmon package and slaps Matt back. They both laugh.
"Assault and battery."
Setting: indoors, a room — soft indoor lighting
People (2):
• mid-slap, wearing grey hoodie and not visible, light brown hair — laughing
• reacting to being slapped, wearing purple hoodie and not visible, dark, curly hair — laughing, doubling over
They stop laughing. Tom asks a question, and Matt replies while gesturing to the salmon.
"What do we do now? Handle it."
Setting: indoors, a room — soft indoor lighting
People (2):
• standing, wearing grey hoodie and not visible, light brown hair — curious expression
• standing, wearing purple hoodie and not visible, dark, curly hair — serious, instructive expression
A close-up shows both men's hands poking and prodding the salmon fillet through its clear plastic packaging.
Setting: indoors — direct indoor light
People (1):
• handling an object, not visible hair — not visible
The shot returns to the two men. Matt makes a disgusted face at the camera after handling the salmon.
"That's not nice."
Setting: indoors, a room — soft indoor lighting
People (2):
• standing, wearing grey hoodie and not visible, light brown hair — smiling slightly
• standing, wearing purple hoodie and not visible, dark, curly hair — disgusted, nose wrinkled, grimacing
An end card appears with credits for the two creators.
Setting: N/A — N/A
Text: "Tom Scott tomscott.com", "Matt Gray mattg.co.uk"